Dear Mom,
How are you? How’s
your day going?
Ok, enough with the pleasantries…I feel it’s time we had
another little chat. Today’s topic of conversation
is Time Out.
We, the children, are unsure where this ridiculous idea came
from but we want to sincerely express our opinion that: Enough is enough. (We know you like that phrase.)
Honestly, we’re just confused as to what it’s supposed to
accomplish.
In the beginning you really had us going. We truly feared that if we moved from that
step before the timer went off something bad would happen to us. Come to think of it, that could have been
because you actually TOLD us the police would come and get us if we didn’t sit
there for the full two minutes…
Regardless, we sat.
I bet you thought you were really something, huh? Eventually, however, we smartened up.
There was the one day when I personally tested that theory
by moving my butt off that step no less than 7 times before the timer went
off. Nothing happened.
And I know for a fact that you saw me because you did that
thing where you turn your back to me so I won’t see you laughing…you’re bad at
that, by that way.
Over the years I think we just wore you down.
The timer stopped being set so our “punishments” got shorter
and shorter. (Except that one time you
sent me to my room for time out and then forgot about me. 25 minutes is an excessive amount of time don’t
you agree? Good thing I have so many
toys up there or I would have been REALLY bored!)
Don’t get me wrong, you put in a great effort!
I liked the time you put me in time out and then played with
all of my trucks in front of me. And you
kept saying things like “Wow, trucks are so fun! I’m glad I’M not in time out!” That was a really nice touch.
The problem with your method is that you let me out after a
set amount of time. I don’t have to sit on
that bottom step till I’m sorry, I just have to sit there till I’m done. If I had to stay until I was sorry you’d be
climbing over my little body in order to get up to bed that night.
Please know that if I threw a matchbox car at my brother it’s
because he deserved it. I’m not sorry I
did it…I’m sorry I got caught.
So, I mean, please feel free to continue using time out as a
discipline tool but know that you’re wasting your time. Cause I can do four minutes standing on my head,
with one arm tied behind my back. It’s a
cake walk, lady. Just thought you outta
know…
Sincerely,
The Management
It's as if my daughter wrote this post! At two years old, she already doesn't give a damn if I put her in timeout. We started with just a couple of minutes at a time, sitting nicely on a step, and then I realized I was going to have to up the ante because she wasn't the slightest bit phased by this "punishment." Eventually, I tried leaving her in timeout until she protested, which only took, oh, I don't know, about 15 MINUTES! Never mind timeout. I give up!
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